Absurdism and Existentialism

The philosophies of absurdism and existentialism seem like interchangeable ideas to me, as both seem to encourage the creation of one’s subjective purpose: Absurdism challenges us to confront the absurdity of existence with courage and authenticity. It invites us to reject false comforts and distractions that shield us from the harsh reality of life’s meaninglessness. In doing so, it asks us to live fully and passionately in the face of the absurd, to create our purpose and meaning.

Existentialism and Absurdism…they both agree that the universe is inherently meaningless, but Existentialism states that we must create our own meaning. Absurdism, on the other hand, focuses on the tension between a meaningless universe and our constant striving to find meaning. To embrace the Absurd is to own up to the meaninglessness of it all and move on, to keep living and living well.

Kratom Pros and Cons

Almost every single drug that has been approved by the FDA had a chance to cause very undesirable affects up to and including death. The more ANY substance is used and abused, the more likely you will suffer adverse effects.

I have taken Kratom for 6 years, I am 24 years old and started when I was 18. I use it for depression and anxiety and in the past have witnessed and unfortunately been addicted to it. I have had so much that im puking, and so little that I hardly notice a difference. What I can say is that kratom does not digest well in the stomache, but rather the small intestine. I take 16 grams a day, 4 grams at a time. It is no different than any FDA and CDC approved drug and a lot of misinformation from these two organizations are false and complete bullshit. Those who use kratom should only use it if they have a issue that kratom could potentially ease, like many of us in the kratom community.

Think about it this way, most commercial drugs have a horrendously long list of terrible side effects a lot of which are fatal or can cause severe life threatening side effects. Pharmaceutical companies do not market kratom and can’t. This is precisely why the FDA and CDC spread misinformation because it is not a drug that is making them any money. If you think either of these organizations give a shit about the public, I am sorry for you. Kratom has killed many people, but what you don’t hear about these deaths is the sheer amount that is taken. The first ever recorded death was from a young 23-year-old man who had done heroin for 10 years and took 40 grams (80 0.5 gram capsules) which is a insane amount but understandable, and that is why he died. The average person even with the worst pain and or depression should not need more than 5 or 6 grams at one time unless you are a heavy set person which then you may need to up it to it to work well enough. Kratom is no different than drugs approved by the FDA and with so few deaths in the thousands of years it’s been around which have been accounted for in the last 20 years, even with little information, it is clear it is safer and more effective than other meds with similar affects, opioids and benzos in particular. Do not be fooled by the FDA and CDC. They are run by money just like every government agency as should never be trusted. Do your own research before you talk about something you know little about and be sure you’re facts are straight. Kratom can be habit forming but so can over 50 drugs the FDA has approved that have killed thousands and thousands of people over the years.

I will leave you with this: there is NO safe drug. There are drugs with associated risks and every bodies bodies metabolize every substance differently. Do your research, learn the facts vs the bullshit, and understand that in most cases, all natural non synthetic substances have proven to be far more beneficial than synthetic man-made drugs as our bodies metabolize substances as such differently than if it were found growing from the ground. Nothing is ever 100 percent safe so always always always use caution when taking ANY substance because you just do not know what can happen to you even if the odds are extremely low.

Why Can’t Republicans Find a Better Candidate?

Trump has proven to everyone that most Republicans don’t actually care for “family values” or even obedience to the rule of law, provided they get what they want out of a Presidential administration. That’s changed not only the political landscape, but also Republican tactics in general: now they don’t have to conceal their nature, and can go full-tilt authoritarian without it costing them support among their primary voter core.

The GOP can’t trust Donald Trump, that’s for sure, but they know that he’ll play primarily to his own interests – and, in doing so, he’ll benefit them in the process. Changing candidates not only means having to face Trump as opposition (and therefore risk losing the support that he brings), but also means that they have to change their approach.

There’s no point getting another candidate like Trump when they can just have the original version.

Is Being Alive a Good Thing?

I wrote this a long time ago after reading Thomas Ligotti’s “The Conspiracy Against the Human Race”. I’ve read it three times now and still enjoy it every time I read it.

Thomas Ligotti is a Floridian writer, philosopher, and Lovecraft enthusiast who specializes in horror fiction. If you’ve watched “True Detective”, Nic Pizzolatto gets his ideas from this book, especially Rust Cohle, played by Matthew McConaughey. The books is inspired by the philosophy of pessimism which is the best and only reason to watch the show (I wrote this a long time ago as I said. I just recently watched season 4 and it was fantastic, but nowhere near the first season’s caliber.)

Here’s the question that Ligotti posits: “Is being alive a good thing?” According to Ligotti … fuck no. Not only does he develop a decent argument as to why it’s inevitably terrible to be a conscious human being, but he also argues that the action of bringing other human beings into the world is absurdly and monstrously cruel.

The tragedy for Ligotti is the evolution of human consciousness. We split off from nature and know for certain that we are going to die. The certainty that we’re going to die and the certainty of human suffering throughout our lives and up until we die, just poof! Gone. Alone, forgotten, as Ligotti puts it “malignantly useless.”

So what happens when a puppet thinks it’s a person and has an individual will and purpose and spirit? Or worse, destiny or meaning? When it thinks it’s important? I’ll tell you what you get, you get a nightmare. A true nightmare. One where the puppet (hint: you) has to stop thinking about that reality in order to function in its puppetly manner.

You can ignore it. Distract yourself, or rationalize your way out of it. You can sublimate it, or channel it into your work, your hobbies, the ones you love, your obsessions, your addictions, whatever. Doesn’t make a difference. You’re just kidding yourself. The best part about it? Once you realize that, you can’t unlearn it.

So there is no hope, no salvation, the future will not save you. Tomorrow will not be a better day. In fact, it’ll probably be worse.

So today, forget the John Waters rule. Drink, smoke, take it where you can get it, fuck school, break things, and don’t listen to your parents. Because they didn’t think twice about bringing you into this fucked up slaughterhouse called life.

There are no happy endings, but it’s a great book whether you fall in line with pessimistic thinking or not.

I Endure Myself

I’m currently reading Emil Cioran’s “The Trouble with Being Born.” It’s different than anything I’ve ever read as it’s not a novel or book of poetry, but it’s a book of aphorisms. Emil Cioran was a Romanian philosopher and aphorist. His books typically deal with pessimism, anti-natalism, suffering, decay, and nihilism, but you can find humor in some of the things he writes.

I’ll give you an example. One of his aphorisms in the book is: “‘Do I look like someone who has something to do here on Earth?’ — That’s what I’d like to answer the busybodies who inquire into my activities.” I’d like to answer to those same people who ask me such questions. I hate being asked the question: “What have you been up to?” “What are you doing with your life?” “Where are you working now?”

I don’t think the way I’m reading the book (cover-to-cover) is the best way to read it, although I am because I’m enjoying it too much. I think a better way would be to pick one line a day and ruminate on it. Of course, that would take much longer, and I have other books I’d like to get to shortly. I do think that’s the appropriate method of reading this book though. These lines are meant to be thought about. Each line needs to gestate.

There is something relaxing about reading Cioran. Just the thought of “Ah. I don’t have to worry because in the end we’re all just going to be obliterated and forgotten.” If you’re ever just having a bad day and get in a fight with your spouse, your boss, your sibling, your friend; or you get publicly humiliated. Say you lose your job, lose your marriage, etc.; say someone completely humiliates you on Twitter or on any social media platform and ruins your reputation, and you read Emil Cioran and remember we’re all going to be obliterated and forgotten one day and you can sit back and relax because none of it matters.

As far as Cioran, you could read him as a joke. He was once invited to give a talk when he was in Zurich and he said, “But I am nothing but a joker.” Engaging with these ideas, jokes aside, his words do hold one’s feet to the fire. As if to look in the mirror and ask yourself, “OK, what is really going on here in this life of yours? If anything?”

If one were to actually do that, they may irreparably shatter their entire image of themselves. I’m not saying do that so be careful. I’m saying that because so much of philosophy and commentary and society just seems to be strange adults making shit up. None of it has any substance or truth. There are so many of these talking heads that just go on about blah, blah, blah, and it just seems to be such a waste of life, this self-help or political bullshit.

I will end this on one of Cioran’s most quoted remarks when asked what does he do each day?

“I endure myself.”

Would You Rather…?

“Would you rather spend the next ten years living life like you are doing now but then you die, or would you choose to live for the next thirty years in captivity?”

The wager is stupid. Refuse both options. If an option is forced on you, resist at all costs. Chip away at the prison walls with a spoon, spit on the guards, hoard all the bread and build a bread castle, get into an argument with the shower faucet.

Better to Have Never Been

This world is a violent place where the strong bully and prey upon the weak , physically and economically.

No wonder then that these great thinkers were vilified by many just for observing and then speaking the bitter truth about biological life and human society. All life is competition for grades, jobs, housing, mate, wealth and status. You suffer to win the competition and stay competitive. You suffer for losing the competition.

It’s relentless.

Indeed “Better to have never been born ”.

Ethan Kirk Abernathy

I have to go to one of my best friend’s funerals today in about ten hours. I can’t sleep. I slept for a little bit last night after crying myself to sleep. This has hit me especially hard since I’ve never lost a friend before. For those of you who didn’t know Kirk, you missed out on one helluva person.

I first met him in middle school. This was when I was going through my goth phase and had my fingernails painted black. He looked at me kind of funny and I stared back at him and said, “What?” He didn’t pick a fight. He just looked away as in, “You do you.”

High school was when we became close. We both shared a love of metal. We bonded over Pantera and Slayer. He saw that I was wearing an Ozzy Osbourne shirt and Ozzy was his idol. We got to talking about Ozzy and what our favorite songs and albums were of his up to that point. He’d always sit outside the lunchroom where all of us misfits sat and just fuck around and have a good time with the rest of us.

We both went to Ozzfest 2002. Some friends of mine and I met him there and he was the first person I got in a mosh pit with. I was a bit timid and he told me, “You just gotta go for it,” so I rushed in without a thought in my head and moshed with Kirk and the rest and had a blast.

One Fourth of July neither one of us were doing anything. I called him to see if he wanted to hang out so I went over to his house where the two of us enjoyed some beers and passed a blunt back and forth to each other the whole night.

I’d go to see his band play anytime they played at bars that were close. He was such a great frontman. Encouraging others to have some drinks with him after the show was over. There wasn’t a single person who didn’t like him. He was friendly toward everyone he met.

I wasn’t expecting this, and I don’t know if I’ve still fully accepted it. He’s gone and we’ll never hang out and shoot the shit again, but I do have very fond memories of him that I will cherish forever. He was never in a bad mood, always gave me and my mom a hug every time he saw us. Always ready for a good time. Always down to smoke or drink with someone. He’s going to be sorely missed.

Absurdism

We can’t know if life has meaning or if it’s meaningless. The world is a hard, confusing thing that we humans can’t understand; therefore it is impossible for us to understand if there is a universal meaning or not.

In Absurdism life could be meaningless or it could have meaning outside our grasp. At the end of the day, for absurdism, this question doesn’t matter because whatever the answer is, we are equally stuck in a meaningless life, unable to comprehend the world.